Experiments

How do they test diapers? Like, to research and develop things like the "feel-dry layer" and stuff like that? I mean, when you figure they probably have all these testing contraptions rigged up, these baby-sized clear mannequins or something, where they can do tests to see where the wetness goes... wouldn't you, if you were a diaper scientist, just rather wear one around yourself, so then you could see what it feels like? That'd be the best thing, 'cause all that fancy machinery can't tell you what it feels like, and not like the babies are talkin'. Of course, they'd have to make a special, grown-up sized prototype for you, made just like the baby kind but bigger. And to test it you'd have to spend a day bumming around the house, maybe crawling on the floor, standing up and falling down on your bottom, all the time eating and drinking and going in the diaper, to get a good idea how well it works. Then you'd take notes and present them to your diaper-scientist friends. Hmm. I wonder if they do this. It would seem more cost-effective than all that fancy machinery, especially for developing new products.

I made homemade potato chips tonight. So yummy. They are my new thing. It all started when I went out on Thursday and saw one of those "specials" displays sitting in the middle of the table, and the only word on it that stuck in my brain was "chips," and the whole rest of the night I couldn't stop thinking about eating them. So when I got home at 2 am, even though I knew I should go to bed 'cause I had to work in the morning, I sliced up 1/3 a potato and fried up some chips. (While drunk. ...Actually not a very good idea. Now, I didn't start a fire, but the fire alarm did go off, so I had to make it stop beeping as quick as I could, and even standing on a chair I am an annoying 1/2 inch too short to reach it, so I had to jump up and down until I knocked it down and it broke on the floor and the next day I spent about an hour trying to fix it.)

Anyway, the chips turned out real good, and tonight I made them again and they were even better. Slice the potatoes super duper thin and cook them in vegetable oil on medium-low heat, about 8-10 minutes. Then when they're done, you shake a mix of salt, seasoned salt, and garlic powder on them. They're as good as the yummy homemade chips you get at restaurants. Probably not any better for you, though.

Okay, now that you are done listening to all my bragging, I'll try to make up for it by asking you to brag. Your question is: What are you so good at that you can't help but brag?

Big Event of the Day: Going to bed
Percent Chance: 99.789%

Movie Rant

Okay, I know I just wrote a post, but consider this making up for not blogging for so long. I just have to say. I don't understand (and sorry if you're one of them) people who liked the movie "A Knight's Tale." I thought it was bad. I won't go so far as to say horrible. ....But actually, no wait--it was horrible, yes. I just happened across another blog where this was one of the person's favorite movies. I don't get it. The movie goes like this: Heath Ledger is trying to work his way up in the jousting world, a la Gladiator. He meets and supposedly falls in love with (not very believably, for reasons I will explain) this horribly bitchy and demanding princess who at first won't even give him the time of day because she thinks she's better than everyone, and then when his silly, overused flirtations wear her down she tries to get him to prove his love by telling him something along the lines of, "If you really love me, lose a jousting match for me, get beaten and bloody, and then I'll know you love me so then I'll love you back." And for some reason he does it.

Meanwhile, there's this very kind, funny, cute blacksmith girl he works with who he actually can have a conversation with, is not manipulative or materialistic or princessy in any way, and he doesn't even glance twice at her. And you think, ohhhhh but maybe in the end, he'll come to his senses and get with the better chick, but no. He goes for the bitchy princess because she is a princess. And this is supposed to be a happy ending? That'd be a soulless marriage if ever there was one. I'm sorry--I just can't get behind a male romantic lead who is that stupid.

Okay. Ahh. I have been waiting years to get that off my chest. But of course, no one really cares about that movie anymore.

Cooperation

Which Sesame Street character was the one who always sang about cooperation? Was it Bert? I am picturing Bert for some reason. Also, may I say I think cooperation was the longest word I knew as a kindergartener coming in, just from Sesame Street. I bet, in fact, that if you polled a bunch of American 5-year olds, that's about the longest word most of them know.

But anyways, I bring up cooperation as a little theme of today because I have a two-part story about it. A real-life example of peace and harmony, or a Goofus and Gallant strip for city living.

The other morning, on my morning commute, a very heavyset woman entered the bus. As she was opening her purse to pay the fare, I noticed she looked like she was in pain and needed to sit down, but also that, because of her size, she was probably going to need two seats.

I'm sitting up front, near where she came in, people on either side of me, and suddenly I'm uncertain. What do I do? Should I anticipate she'll need two seats, and so if the guy next to me gets up, I get up too, thus leaving her the two seats she needs? Would she take offense to that? Would that be the same thing as just announcing to everyone, "Whoa, I can tell you're going to need two seats," and causing her unneeded embarrassment? But then again, if no one moved, she could not realistically fit in a one-seat place, nor would she want to, and so then she wouldn't get to sit down at all.

As it turned out, I didn't have to make a decision, because she found two empty seats next to each other a little farther back and sat there. But what if she hadn't? What if the bus had been more than half full? I suddenly realized this woman probably deliberately passes up half the buses that go by because she knows she'd have nowhere to sit. That sucks.

Then that afternoon the same situation happened, and I sort of saw the solution. This time it was a heavyset guy who got on. Right away, a kid (I say kid to differentiate him from the guy) sitting up front who had an empty seat next to him, he got up real quick-like and went to stand in the back so the heavy guy could sit down--the guy never saw him, I don't think. He came in, looked around for a place to sit, and gratefully sat down in the roomy space so conveniently located near the front. It was impressive. Happiness for everyone involved. So now I know there is a way... you just have to be observant. Which, as we know people on buses are not so good at, trying as they do to avoid eye contact with everyone and draw their personal bubbles around themselves by way of iPods. Props to that kid. He knows what's up.

In other news, I was walking home on Friday and passed a patch of grass (grass! In the city! It is precious) under a window with an air conditioner in it. The grass was newly watered, looked green and fresh, and everything was still except for the hum of the air conditioner, which I imagined was creating a calm and comfortable inside home for whoever lived behind it. And I decided I like the sound of air conditioners in the summer when they're out behind a house, plugging away while the summer hours drift by.... there's something ...sleepy about it.

So here is your question: Do you have a favorite sound? Besides this one, I have a few: Nails being hammered into fresh wood, kids laughing (in the silly fun way, not the way the bullies do when they're being mean), and for a while after we got the game Taboo, I was addicted to pushing the teal-and-hot-pink "beeeeh" button.

Also, a random Sienfeld quote from an episode last week that I totally agree with.

GEORGE [circling the city blocks looking for a parking space, refusing to give in and pay for garage parking]:
Garages are like prostitutes. Why should I pay for it, when if I apply myself, maybe I can get it for free?

Big Event of the Day: Either the Latin American grocery (far away, and also I forgot my shopping list) for cotija cheese and other groceries, or the Quik-E-Mart (on the way home... put off the real shopping trip 'til later) and a nap. Sweet sweet nap.
Percent Chance: Latin American grocery, 38%. Quik-E-Mart and nap, 62%.

Quik-E-Post

Strangely enough, after all that talk about falling on subway/el tracks, I found out that a guy in New York did that very thing yesterday, and he almost died. So, guess the hype really is true.

Dude.

Oh, and here's the answer to the riddle: Because he was feeling crummy.

Question: Do you have a movie or TV show that you keep ready on the shelf as a security blanket? Something you watch when you need to cheer up? Mine, if you haven't already guessed, is Buffy. (Although in the past it has also been Bridget Jones' Diary.)

Big Event of the Day: I'm sad--my big event of the day was to go to the Gay Pride parade, but I was too hung over from a bachelorette party last night. Stupid alcohol! I felt like hosting an afterschool special: "Kids, that's why drinking is bad, mkay? It keeps you from doing stuff you actually want to do 'cause you're hung over."
Percent Chance: 0.
=(

Death-Defying

Going country line dancing soon! Must... write... blog!

The other night I was waiting for the red line subway, and I got to thinking. If the red line runs 24 hours, how do they change the posters that are on the walls of the subway track? Now I've seen people changing the signs that are on the bulletin board on the platform and stuff. But the ones on the far walls, across the rails? How can a person change those if trains are using that track? There's no room for them to stand there if a train goes by. Do they close the track down once a week? Like a 4:37 am on Tuesday night, just so they can change all the movie posters?

And by the way, I am--I won't say deathly scared--but let's say moderately wary of the el tracks. "Danger! Danger! Almost certain death!" all the signs say. If I'm wearing a backpack and I trip and fall onto the tracks, will my backpack get caught and keep me from crawling up? Will it weigh me down? Will I got electrocuted anyway and so just the act falling would be enough to make the end of me?

That's a lot of responsibility to put on us average folk. Trusting us to avoid our own death. Especially when you consider they poke holes in plastics bags so we can't suffocate and print warnings on bug spray cans that say, "Do not throw in fire. Do not poke hole in. Do not place in lit barbecue grill and then tell your unsuspecting friend to go check on the hot dogs," etc etc.

... And speaking of, revolving doors don't seem that safe to me either. But that is another discussion.

Here's your question: When you are on public transportation and didn't think to bring a book to read, how do you pass the time? a) look at other people, b) fall asleep, sometimes on other people, c) read all the signs posted in the bus, d) look out the window, e) obsess about your life/work/relationships/that stupid thing you did, etc., or f) other.

Okay, I'll write more when I get back. I'm late!

Big Event of the Day: Country line dancing
Percent Chance: 99.23% (unless I come across something really interesting and even better than line dancing on my way there.... maybe like if suddenly it was Mardi Gras and there were parades in the street, or if a building was on fire with flames leaping out and 20-story fire ladders rescuing people, or if I run into a friend who says that Laura Pausini is giving a free concert in the park and that it starts RIGHT NOW).

Mitigating Factors (I Don't Really Know What Mitigating Means)

Sorry! There was a situation that took me away from blogging for a while.

I have things to write. Maybe witty things. I don't know. You'll have to be the judge. I will get something up this afternoon.

In the meantime, here is a silly riddle. Answer to come.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

Music and Dancing but Mostly TV

I love Tavis Smiley. Can I just tell you? Not to sound like a commercial or anything, but it's one of the best shows on TV.

Of course, along with So You Think You Can Dance. Ah yes, I happened to come across this tonight and man oh man. They are so good! And the mambo! Oh, the mambo. I think it is going to become my new favorite dance. It's like salsa, gone crazy. Hips and sequins and arms and legs flying about all uncontrolled-like.

But back to the talk show question, 'cuz I have no other funny stories today (bad day at work.... interesting side note: When I have a bad day, now I hear the cutesy little song in my head that came out about a year ago--"Bad Day" by Daniel Powter. It simultaneously makes me feel better (aw, it's okay... little Becky had a bad day... buck up, little camper) and annoyed (my problems cannot be summed up in a cute little song! My problems are not cute!).)

But anyways, here I have 2 questions for you. First, who is your favorite talk show host--any kind of talk show host--the only criteria being that the show mostly consists of one main host who has guests and talks to them?

And second, if you got famous for something, what talk show would you most like to be on?

Okay, and third question, what do you imagine you'd be famous for?

Big Event of the Day: Well, it's late now, but I would like to say I emptied and loaded the dishwasher, so I did do things. Further plans include going to bed before 1:30.
Percent Chance: 50%

Wisdom, Kernels of

Hey sorry for the bad-moodiness yesterday. What can I say? It happens. Thanks for the yummy commenting.

I was reading this book this weekend called Where Are They Buried? How Did They Die? It's an interesting Reader's Digest-type book that profiles famous (and infamous, as the book jacket says) public figures who have died. It tells you the main points of their lives, how they died, and directions to visit their graves. Kinda neat, in a Jerry-Springer scandaly way. Like, for example, we learn, better than any health teacher could put it, Drugs'll kill ya. Wow. And half the time they kill you in a very embarrassing and sad way. You're all trying to be a rock star, too cool for everyone, and then someone finds your body, pants down, in a pool of your own fluids on the floor in front of the toilet.

Also, the rock star crowd--the famous people who died from their excesses, whether they were drugs or obesity or freak accidents--lots of them died right around age 30. Just, of interest. My theory is, most people are generally self-aware by what--let's say age 18? So by about age 28 you've spent 10 years trying to find your place in the world. You try lots of stuff, make a lot of mistakes, but normally at some point you figure it out and shape up. But for these guys, after 10 years, they still haven't, and I figure that's about the limit of time a person can feel rootless and alone before they give up--emotionally, physically, whatever--and self-destruct. Q.E.D.

So yeah, interesting book, but also morbid, and kinda depressing by the end. Probably led to my bad mood. You know the whole, death, what's the point of life when you're just going to kick it thing. Blah. (Push to back of mind and hope it goes away)

Whatev. That's what I say. Great big whatev.

I heard two really good quotes recently, and I am going to write them down for you and for me and for everybody to study and take deep breaths.

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.

~Dalai Lama

Any time you have an opportunity to make a difference in this world and you don't, then you are wasting your time on Earth.

~Roberto Clemente

Ahh.

Hey, did'ja click on the Dalai Lama link? Kinda funny that he has his own website, right? Wouldn't you think he'd be the type to say, "That's for my followers to put up if they want to, but I'm on a higher plane" or something? Nope. I don't mind though. He's just a hip, karma-filled dude, that's all.

Okay, time for the going. Here is your question:

What is your favorite quote? (I will accept answers in both the serious and comedic categories.)

Big Event of the Day: Woooo, yeeaahh... I never did laundry last night. I am currently wearing my very last pair of work-appropriate socks, so I have to do laundry tonight! But look how I am still here blogging! Do you see my sacrifice?
Percent Chance: (Telling myself I can wear sandals tomorrow.... rationalizing wearing white socks with my black work pants.... getting hooked on a good TV show...) I'm gonna say 79.22%.

Little Bo Peep

Okay, guys--I'm going to have to issue another one of my stern roll calls.... if you are here and reading my blog, you have to say so! Otherwise this is what happens: I open up my blog, see that I have no new comments, and I say to myself, "Well, guess not everyone has read that one yet." Or sometimes when I'm in a bad mood (like today), I say, "Why should I give them free entertainment when they don't entertain me?" Either way I don't write, and you are bored. So you see why you should do your part? Becky has superfans, she writes more things, she is entertained, you are entertained, and everybody wins. So. Here is the plan. I will try to write a question for you to answer every day. I will write it again at the end so you don't forget. And, if you don't want to answer it, just say hello or write what your big plan is for the day. That way I know you're here and the Beckybloggyverse has not only a new post to read, but fun comments from you. Go.

I am eating stale tostada shells in my cube because I'm hungry but I've got work still to finish so I can't go home yet, but I'm too mopey to get it done. Such a sad picture.

Listened to Lionel Richie this morning. He's good, but it wasn't strong enough medicine I guess.

Last night I went to Whedonesque, 'cuz every so often I do that, to see what's going on with the Whedonverse, (shhhh! SHHHH! I can hear you whispering to each other already), and I found a link to one of the writers' websites. It's her blog, actually, and she gives you tips on how to write scripts. Good stuff, actually. So now that's what I'm going to do--write a script for a scene. Wait for my fledgling attempt:

...

This is hard.

...

Wow, okay, I have been at this for at least 2 hours. I've written and deleted probably hundreds of words. But there are so many things to worry about! You gotta decide what you want to happen, a genre, and within that genre, a conflict and resolution, and then you gotta divide up the action between characters, so you gotta make characters and decide what they're gonna be like, give them intriguing layers and keep them consistent from one moment to the next while still developing them continuously, and the whole thing doesn't work unless you have not only believable characters but believable relationships between those characters, so that takes a lot of work--deciding how these characters feel about each other and finding a way to show that in the script as well as give the audience some reason to feel the same way...

It is very tricky. Wow.

Okay, well I am not done. Script not ready for debut yet (if ever). Sorry for the false alarm.

As previously stated, I am in a bad mood, so I don't have many fun things to write. So here is your question.

What is your favorite holiday and why?

Big Plan for the Day: Laundry!
Percent Chance: 68%

Linky Winky

I was on someone else's blog today, and they had a bloggy moment of silence for Ronald Reagan, who passed away 2 years ago Monday.

Now before I get to the quote she'd posted, which was very good, I have to confess to you (and this is bad) that I sort of forgot he had died.

I may be the only one who does this, and I'm embarrassed. But sometimes they'll announce on the news that a public figure has died, and everyone will talk about it that day and be appropriately sad and philosophical, but then little by little I forget. It's not like a friend or family member where you feel their absence every day. I lived my whole life with no Ronald Reagan in it, so it wasn't too weird that he wasn't around. Soon I forgot he had died. But then today when I saw that, first I had to look it up to make sure it was true--yep, in fact, it was--and then I felt a little sad again. Aw. How sad. Of course, I had already done this once, the whole "Aw, how sad" thing, so a little redundant.

And that got me thinking about how when something bad happens to you, a loss of any kind (whether it's as bad as death or just something that bums you out, like a totaled car or that a friend is mad at you), you go through times where you forget about it. You feel good, until suddenly you remember and you are sad all over again.

I hate that.

Then eventually you forget less and less often, until it's just something that you know without a doubt, and that's sad, too, in its own way.

But anyway.

Here's what Ronny had to say:

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.

Ronald Reagan
1911-2004

That strikes fear in my heart, oh yes it does. Probably not for the same reasons as the person who posted the quote, or maybe not even for the same reasons Ronny said it, but that just means it's a good quote.

Sometimes I worry we'll tell our grandchildren about the days when there was no (?) corruption and that our police helped us and kept us safe (again, ?, relating to whether or not race has to do with it). What do you worry we'll have to tell them about? (This is the part where you write me comments....)

I forgot I was going to mention this hi-LAR-i-ous blog that was recommended to me: Captain Picard's Journal. It's a fictional journal written by (who else) Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the U.S.S. Starship Enterprise from Star Trek: The Next Generation. I may have to add it to my links. (Hee hee, the theme song just popped up into my head. Ooh, now it just changed into the Spaceballs music.)

Another blog I came across had an entry about the Duke rape trial that started talking about eyewitnesses for trials, and specifically whether white witnesses are even able to accurately identify African American suspects, because they're usually not as familiar with black faces and less able to tell the differences between them.

Anthropologically (I don't think I have ever used that word before, at least not written... hmm.. big day) speaking, it makes sense--the faces you're used to looking at, you get to know the intimate differences between individuals. For people outside your group, the main thing you notice is just that they're different than you, and you don't notice the little details.

I think I used to have a harder time telling Latinos apart, but since living in Ecuador and just generally making more Latino friends here, I hardly ever have trouble telling hispanic people apart now. When I was in Ecuador, I even got good at telling what country they were from, just from their faces. So just another example to go with the comments people made on the blog.

Since I don't know many black people and don't really know black faces, I figure I'd be just as bad an eyewitness for a trial involving a black suspect as any other white person. The last few days I have been trying to practice looking at black faces. Tricky business, because basically I'm just staring at people all day. I'm trying to be sly about it, but I do look at each person for kind of a little while as I try to decide, for example, "Hmm, now would that skin color be classified as light-skinned, caramel, light brown, or dark brown?" I'd be creeped out if I were them and saw this white girl staring them down from the back of the bus. But all in the name of cultural awareness, right?

I decided to check in with Wandering Scribe today. She's got a place to live now! Funny--in some ways she says she's so happy she's pinching herself to see if it's real, but in other ways she misses living in her car. Bet she didn't plan on that. Anyway, give it a read.

Look at how much entertainment I am providing you with! Not just my own blog, but links to other blogs you can hop around between all day long. If you work in a cubicle, how grateful are you?

Speaking of working in cubicles, mine is decked out as well as I can do... snack corner which serves as the pantry for our little cube colony over in our section of the floor, a blanket for when I get cold which doubles as a seat cushion, a not-exactly-comfy-but-non-pain-causing metal chair (which I had to steal, remember?), an extra sweater, and cereal boxes so I can eat breakfast at my desk. But I have to say, it is becoming a problem how hard my desk is. Specifically when, if I stay late at work, a wave of extreme tiredness comes over me and I have to take a nap right then (don't worry, guys--this is at like 6:00 pm). When I was teaching, I could grab a sweater, ball it up, and fall asleep on my desk for 1, 2 hours at a time, no problem (again, after the kids went home--jeez). Woke up a little floopy, with sweater marks on my face, but a good deal all around. But now at work, it's so dang uncomfortable I can't really get to sleep, or if I do, I wake up after 10 minutes with a cramp or pins and needles in some part of my body. Not cool.

Big Event of the Day: Was going to be go to Jewel, but then I realized I could just stop at Walgreens on the way home instead of making the big trip, since I didn't need anything very fancy.
Percent Chance: I'd estimated it at about 50% for the Jewel trip, so yay me, although since I downgraded it to a Walgreens, I don't know how you'd count it. Inaccurate data collection. Sorry.

Listful

Sorry no bloggy! When I don't stay late to work I usually don't make the time to write from home.

Since I can't think of anything good to ramble on about today, I will make a list. 'Cause lists are cute and I enjoy them.

Top Twelve Things That Have Happened in the Last Week
12. I successfully made homemade refried beans and found them to be a delic-i-ous dip for tortilla chips, especially with cotija cheese on top. The secret is lots of garlic.
11. I danced tango on Friday--not exactly new, but fun as usual.
10. My boss at work passed me in the hall and congratulated me for something I did.
9. I went to gala at the Navy pier ballroom for the first time and I wore a fancy dress and ate fancy food and saw the best live band of my whole entire life.
8. At the gala, I got to dance Mambo and Cha Cha with Rebecca and Esteban's friend Germán up and down the dance floor to the point of both sweat and shoes flying everywhere. Great fun.
7. They fixed my internet--again.
6. I went to see Love Song again with my parents.
5. My parents bought me air conditioners and put them in my windows when they were here.
4. They also brought me pots and pans with lids, and the playing cards I ordered for my grandma.
3. I hung out with my parents for most of a day and we actually had fun, and, more importantly, my dad and I didn't argue or yell at each other once, not even when we were debating politics.
2. I cooked up some bacon yesterday and ate it--yummy.
1. I went out to dinner at Café Ibérico on a Monday night with 3 good girlfriends and we had lots of fun, thus making the weekend longer.

Big Event of the Day: Load dishwasher
Percent Chance: 29%

Mid-Day Pick-Me-Up

From an interview with Paul Rudd on The A.V. Club:

Sometimes on TV or something, I see these critics, and the way they wear their hair… or they'll have a mustache without any irony, and I think, "This guy's aesthetic criteria is so completely different from mine. What I think is cool is so not what he thinks is cool."

Mustache without irony. Heeeee. Me likey.

I saw a great great play yesterday--Love Song by John Kolvenbach. For free! We got free tickets from work. I have to say (and I know you won't believe me, but I have considered carefully and believe it to be true) that it is the best play I have ever seen in my whole entire life. Busting out laughing, sweet and endearing but not in a "Look at me--I'm trying to be sweet and endearing" way. I liked it for many of the same reasons I like Joss Whedon's stuff.

You: Stop talking about Joss Whedon, Becky! We get it!
Me: Sorry.

Anyway, I am sad that it's only playing until Sunday. But I did convince my parents to come with me to see it again, so at least I'll see it one more time. I may actually become a theater groupie who follows playwrights* around and goes to see every show they make.

*I've always wondered why, if a playwright is the person who writes the play, why the word isn't spelled playwrite. But they didn't ask me.

Did you know baba ghanoush is actually a word? I did not know this.

Big Event of the Day: Out after tango class for John's brother's 21st
Percent Chance: 81%