People-Watching
I can't say this entry is very easy to follow, or that it really has a point, or even that it is worth your time. But if you are looking for a vacation from whatever it is you're supposed to be doing right now, boh-hoy are you gonna like this blog. Pages and pages of ramblings I have for you, most of them taken almost verbatim from my little Becky brain in the past few days....
Yesterday on the way home my bus driver was a young, buzz-cutted white guy. Looked no more than 25. He didn’t seem to fit in. I all of a sudden noticed (or realized) that except him, most bus drivers I’d seen were middle-aged and non-white. Any youngish ones were usually black. The bus drivers were usually males, with the occasional black woman. I just didn’t really notice that’s how things were until this kid struck me as being so different.
Why is it that a young white guy almost can’t have a buzz cut now without looking like a skinhead? It’s not fair, I know, but it’s what I always think of. I just assume he’s racist or something. Is an entire haircut species off limits now? Or am I just reading into it too much? I guess more to their concern would be how people of color look at them. Do they assume you're a white supremacist? 'Cause that might not be an image you want to portray. (Well, unless you do, and you're trying to send out a mean little message there.)
He somehow looked to me like he'd been in the military. I can't quite say for sure I got this notion, other than the buzz cut, except for that he was very tidy, had an impeccably clean and pressed uniform, and seemed to expect a lot of his passengers (sort of like the Soup Nazi. Oh wait, maybe he really was a skinhead then.). So it got me to thinking: Do you think military men and women are more or less tolerant of others? Do they have bigger egos or smaller? Sometimes I think it’s kind of both. I assume (and we all know what happens when you assume) that military guys = small town America = closed-minded. But lots of city people enlist too. Hmm. I'm thinking they're likely to have bigger egos than civilians because they're pumped up of patriotic pride and do-goodiness, yet in some ways be humbler because they serve others. (I think a lot of this is coming from the military guys I met on New Years Eve, but partly also from a friend of a friend I met who was in the ROTC. Hmm. Now look who's generalizing...)
There was a guy this morning on the bus sitting in one of the front seats with crutches. He was chatting up the bus driver, talking about the Bulls, or Cubs, or somebody. I don’t remember. They were using names I don’t know, mostly because I don't follow the players at all; I only go to Cubs games for the fresh air, good times, and overpriced beer (shhh, don’t tell John).
Anyway, the one guy obviously wanted to talk. I wasn’t sure the bus driver did or not. But then he kept talking back to him. And it kinda struck me in the face, a little metaphor. For them, the conversation was like eating, or (so as not to risk being banned by Garrett’s health club), “getting it on.” Both parties were interested, got something they needed out of it, so they kept feeding and would keep feeding until their needs were met. Obviously, conversation fulfilled something they needed at that moment, and it wasn't a basic transaction, such as "How many blocks until Fullerton?" or "Are you getting off here?". These strangers were conversing for another reason, a "non-essential" reason, we could say, if you wanted to divide speech into functional and non-functional camps.
Was the bus driver lacking in real conversation all day, spending most of his time telling people to exit at the back and honking at wayward pedestrians? And was the crutch guy irritated at not being able to do stuff because he was on crutches, and so savoring the fact his conversational ability was unharmed? Were they both just bored? Did he and the bus driver discover they had something in common?
What about when the person next to you on an airplane talks to you? Why do they do it? Is it for selfish reasons, or do they think they're doing you a favor by talking to you? Do you look lonely? Do they wish more people would strike up consersations with them, so they imagine you would like to be conversed with as well?
I've had both really amazing airplane-seat conversations and some not-so-good ones. But I'll have to say the really good ones outnumber the bad. I know not all of you may have had this luck. About the coolest conversation I ever had was a three-way--I had cool people on either side. One was a world-traveling British guy who had tons of adventurey stories to tell (we ended up being pen pals for a while after that) and on the other side of me was an early 20s-aged girl with Downs syndrome who managed to overcome it to such a degree that she lived on her own, went to college, and now traveled the country doing motivational speeches. She was reading "A Teenager's Guide to Female Friendships" or something like that when I sat down next to her. Which she could either have been reading because, having a disability, she needed help understanding all the bogus societal rules we live by, or maybe she was preparing for her next engagement which could have been speaking to teenage girls. Anyway.
But as a whole, most people sit and don’t talk on public transportation. Besides the fact that a lot of people find it weird to strike up a conversation with a stranger, I think it’s also because we know, more likely than not, we’d end up getting pissed off or pissing someone else off, so it’s safer just to not even go there. There is something to be said for both silence and talking.
Also this morning, I saw a woman with a little boy in a stroller waving goodbye to another woman as she was getting on the bus. The woman getting on the stroller was white, and the one staying with the baby looked southeast Asian, yet they both looked like they cared for the child and he trusted them both implicitly. Babysitter? They’re the same age. What if it was a two mom situation? It looked to me like that was the case. So I was thinking about this. What does that little boy call his two mommies? I mean, if you have two grandmas, you can call them both Grandma, ‘cause you’re not likely to be around them both at the same time. But if you’re all living in the same house, how do you call for one and not the other? “Mom!” and two moms walk in. “No, I mean that Mom. Elizabeth.” That’s weird. Can’t be having your kids call you by your first name. That’s a slippery slope into disrespect right there. But hey, you know, I got it. Just like if you had two grandmas living with you, you’d call them both a grandma-like name but they would be a little different, like Nana and Grams, or Nonnie and Grandma. So I’m thinking you’d just have one be “Mom” and one be “Ma” or something like that. [sound of me dusting off my hands, in a “so that answers that question” fashion]
A block or two later, a girl loaded her bike onto the front of the bus into the special bracket thingy. I'd never seen anyone do that before. It was neat. A little scary. The talking crutch guy said how this one time, the person didn’t load it right and it fell off on the expressway, kerclunk kerunch…. And the bike’s owner wanted the CTA to pay for it. Our bus driver got off the bus and helped her load it (a good idea, considering what would happen if she did it wrong). Also, the crutch guy never mentioned what happened to all the cars behind that bus who suddenly found a mangled bike in their trajectory… and car vs. bike is not as sure a win as car vs. bus. I wonder if a ten-car pile-up occurred as a result of that little blunder.
I almost got into an accident on the expressway once. Scary scary. Somehow all 5 of us in all the lanes swerved in just the right way and no one crashed into anyone—we were going like 55… it could have been bad.
When our family went to visit Christie in Mexico over Thanksgiving, she told us how mad it makes her that no one down there moves over for ambulances, that people die because the ambulance couldn’t get there in time, and people on the road seem to see no connection to their own mortality when they do this. “Well, it’s not happening to me, so I don’t need to move over and disrupt my day." Little realizing that it could be them hovering on the brink of death one day, waiting for an ambulance that won't come.
I liked to think here in the US we were somehow better than that. Nope. Not too long after moving to Chicago, I witnessed it happen right here. I hear a siren, yet instead of it getting louder and screaming past, the sound just repeats and repeats like a child's toy stuck against a wall, and I realize it’s 2 blocks down and can’t go anywhere because no one will move over. My jaw about hit the sidewalk in disbelief and anger. If I was an ambulance driver I would start a tally chart. A tally chart of how many times we got there and the patient was dead already and if people had just moved their asses we could have gotten there in time to save him.
Big Event of the Day: Tango lesson #2
Percent Chance: 99% (I only hope I don't get put with annoying guy again)
Yesterday on the way home my bus driver was a young, buzz-cutted white guy. Looked no more than 25. He didn’t seem to fit in. I all of a sudden noticed (or realized) that except him, most bus drivers I’d seen were middle-aged and non-white. Any youngish ones were usually black. The bus drivers were usually males, with the occasional black woman. I just didn’t really notice that’s how things were until this kid struck me as being so different.
Why is it that a young white guy almost can’t have a buzz cut now without looking like a skinhead? It’s not fair, I know, but it’s what I always think of. I just assume he’s racist or something. Is an entire haircut species off limits now? Or am I just reading into it too much? I guess more to their concern would be how people of color look at them. Do they assume you're a white supremacist? 'Cause that might not be an image you want to portray. (Well, unless you do, and you're trying to send out a mean little message there.)
He somehow looked to me like he'd been in the military. I can't quite say for sure I got this notion, other than the buzz cut, except for that he was very tidy, had an impeccably clean and pressed uniform, and seemed to expect a lot of his passengers (sort of like the Soup Nazi. Oh wait, maybe he really was a skinhead then.). So it got me to thinking: Do you think military men and women are more or less tolerant of others? Do they have bigger egos or smaller? Sometimes I think it’s kind of both. I assume (and we all know what happens when you assume) that military guys = small town America = closed-minded. But lots of city people enlist too. Hmm. I'm thinking they're likely to have bigger egos than civilians because they're pumped up of patriotic pride and do-goodiness, yet in some ways be humbler because they serve others. (I think a lot of this is coming from the military guys I met on New Years Eve, but partly also from a friend of a friend I met who was in the ROTC. Hmm. Now look who's generalizing...)
There was a guy this morning on the bus sitting in one of the front seats with crutches. He was chatting up the bus driver, talking about the Bulls, or Cubs, or somebody. I don’t remember. They were using names I don’t know, mostly because I don't follow the players at all; I only go to Cubs games for the fresh air, good times, and overpriced beer (shhh, don’t tell John).
Anyway, the one guy obviously wanted to talk. I wasn’t sure the bus driver did or not. But then he kept talking back to him. And it kinda struck me in the face, a little metaphor. For them, the conversation was like eating, or (so as not to risk being banned by Garrett’s health club), “getting it on.” Both parties were interested, got something they needed out of it, so they kept feeding and would keep feeding until their needs were met. Obviously, conversation fulfilled something they needed at that moment, and it wasn't a basic transaction, such as "How many blocks until Fullerton?" or "Are you getting off here?". These strangers were conversing for another reason, a "non-essential" reason, we could say, if you wanted to divide speech into functional and non-functional camps.
Was the bus driver lacking in real conversation all day, spending most of his time telling people to exit at the back and honking at wayward pedestrians? And was the crutch guy irritated at not being able to do stuff because he was on crutches, and so savoring the fact his conversational ability was unharmed? Were they both just bored? Did he and the bus driver discover they had something in common?
What about when the person next to you on an airplane talks to you? Why do they do it? Is it for selfish reasons, or do they think they're doing you a favor by talking to you? Do you look lonely? Do they wish more people would strike up consersations with them, so they imagine you would like to be conversed with as well?
I've had both really amazing airplane-seat conversations and some not-so-good ones. But I'll have to say the really good ones outnumber the bad. I know not all of you may have had this luck. About the coolest conversation I ever had was a three-way--I had cool people on either side. One was a world-traveling British guy who had tons of adventurey stories to tell (we ended up being pen pals for a while after that) and on the other side of me was an early 20s-aged girl with Downs syndrome who managed to overcome it to such a degree that she lived on her own, went to college, and now traveled the country doing motivational speeches. She was reading "A Teenager's Guide to Female Friendships" or something like that when I sat down next to her. Which she could either have been reading because, having a disability, she needed help understanding all the bogus societal rules we live by, or maybe she was preparing for her next engagement which could have been speaking to teenage girls. Anyway.
But as a whole, most people sit and don’t talk on public transportation. Besides the fact that a lot of people find it weird to strike up a conversation with a stranger, I think it’s also because we know, more likely than not, we’d end up getting pissed off or pissing someone else off, so it’s safer just to not even go there. There is something to be said for both silence and talking.
Also this morning, I saw a woman with a little boy in a stroller waving goodbye to another woman as she was getting on the bus. The woman getting on the stroller was white, and the one staying with the baby looked southeast Asian, yet they both looked like they cared for the child and he trusted them both implicitly. Babysitter? They’re the same age. What if it was a two mom situation? It looked to me like that was the case. So I was thinking about this. What does that little boy call his two mommies? I mean, if you have two grandmas, you can call them both Grandma, ‘cause you’re not likely to be around them both at the same time. But if you’re all living in the same house, how do you call for one and not the other? “Mom!” and two moms walk in. “No, I mean that Mom. Elizabeth.” That’s weird. Can’t be having your kids call you by your first name. That’s a slippery slope into disrespect right there. But hey, you know, I got it. Just like if you had two grandmas living with you, you’d call them both a grandma-like name but they would be a little different, like Nana and Grams, or Nonnie and Grandma. So I’m thinking you’d just have one be “Mom” and one be “Ma” or something like that. [sound of me dusting off my hands, in a “so that answers that question” fashion]
A block or two later, a girl loaded her bike onto the front of the bus into the special bracket thingy. I'd never seen anyone do that before. It was neat. A little scary. The talking crutch guy said how this one time, the person didn’t load it right and it fell off on the expressway, kerclunk kerunch…. And the bike’s owner wanted the CTA to pay for it. Our bus driver got off the bus and helped her load it (a good idea, considering what would happen if she did it wrong). Also, the crutch guy never mentioned what happened to all the cars behind that bus who suddenly found a mangled bike in their trajectory… and car vs. bike is not as sure a win as car vs. bus. I wonder if a ten-car pile-up occurred as a result of that little blunder.
I almost got into an accident on the expressway once. Scary scary. Somehow all 5 of us in all the lanes swerved in just the right way and no one crashed into anyone—we were going like 55… it could have been bad.
When our family went to visit Christie in Mexico over Thanksgiving, she told us how mad it makes her that no one down there moves over for ambulances, that people die because the ambulance couldn’t get there in time, and people on the road seem to see no connection to their own mortality when they do this. “Well, it’s not happening to me, so I don’t need to move over and disrupt my day." Little realizing that it could be them hovering on the brink of death one day, waiting for an ambulance that won't come.
I liked to think here in the US we were somehow better than that. Nope. Not too long after moving to Chicago, I witnessed it happen right here. I hear a siren, yet instead of it getting louder and screaming past, the sound just repeats and repeats like a child's toy stuck against a wall, and I realize it’s 2 blocks down and can’t go anywhere because no one will move over. My jaw about hit the sidewalk in disbelief and anger. If I was an ambulance driver I would start a tally chart. A tally chart of how many times we got there and the patient was dead already and if people had just moved their asses we could have gotten there in time to save him.
Big Event of the Day: Tango lesson #2
Percent Chance: 99% (I only hope I don't get put with annoying guy again)
posted by Becky at
3:50 PM
3 Comments:
Wow, that's a lot of stuff in your brain. You have a busy little mind. Your hamster is just burnin rubber on that little wheel, while mine is strolling quietly along, picking its nose. (Do hamsters have noses? Discuss.)
By
Anonymous, at 4/27/2006 08:04:00 PM
My hampster usually hits the snooze button, goes back to sleep, and doesn't do any work before 10:00 am.
By
Anonymous, at 4/28/2006 08:13:00 AM
Hey, I found some good hamster pictures to possibly answer Laura's question. (What, you thought I wouldn't actually research it?) Yes, they do have noses, and their little hands appear to reach.... As to whether or not the little fingers could fit inside, I don't know. (Check out pics 3b and 6)
By
Becky, at 4/28/2006 09:37:00 AM
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