City Girl Part Deux
The other thing I'd like to bitch about is the whole walking alone at night thing.
A few weeks ago, I was taking a cab home from a bar. It was maybe 1 am, and if it was earlier I would've taken the el--there's a stop only 6 blocks from my house, and I don't really live in a bad neighborhood--but it was 1 am, so I had to cab it. (And, let me just butt in to say: there went 15 bucks I wouldn't have had to part with if I'd been able to walk). Anyway, so I'm cruising up Lake Shore Drive in the back of the cab; the windows are down.... and it's one of those summer nights that seems soft and alive. I don't want to be chaperoned home--what I really want to do is bust out of the cab, walk around the lake, soak up the night air and the breeze off the water--but I can't. I'm trapped in this cab--gotta content myself with sticking my head out the window as the cabbie speeds me inevitably toward home. It's not safe for me to walk along the lake at this hour by myself--what, am I crazy!?!? I can't just go do that! ...Not unless, it occured to me--well, hmm, unless I had a guy along to protect me.
It was the magic key, wasn't it--as long as there was a male to stand guard, suddenly nothing was forbidden--I could do whatever I wanted, go where ever I pleased. It didn't matter who that guy was--just him being a male was enough. Suddenly, by virtue of him being there, the world was open to me. Strange, I mused: alone, I'm trapped; add one guy, and suddenly I'm free to do what I wish? Where's the part where I get to be by myself and do what I wish, the way guys do?
Sure, a girl is free to walk alone at night--it can be done--but there's no fun in it. You're always looking over your shoulder, clutching your purse, running worst-case scenarios in your head. You have to walk a certain way, hold your head a certain way, one that says, "I am in control." The look in your eyes must be defiant and calm. Your footsteps must be brisk and sure. Not too brisk, though, or you give yourself away.
And maybe this is partly why I like Buffy so much--it certainly isn't Sarah Michelle Gellar (although she does grow on you eventually)--no, I think it was more the fascination with the ability to go anywhere, do anything, for myself--just me, without fear.
But that only exists in the fantasy world. For the rest of my life I'll never know, as men do, what it is like to not be afraid, to not depend on others to protect me, to not have to hope and pray that no one tries to attack me, 'cause well--not much I could do about if they did, huh, poor little defenseless old me.
I hate it.
So now you know.
Comments? Have you ever been frightened walking by yourself, or worse, had someone attack or rob you?
Big Event of the Day (today!): Pick up Christie from the airport!! (Laura is already here)
Percent Chance: 97.82%
A few weeks ago, I was taking a cab home from a bar. It was maybe 1 am, and if it was earlier I would've taken the el--there's a stop only 6 blocks from my house, and I don't really live in a bad neighborhood--but it was 1 am, so I had to cab it. (And, let me just butt in to say: there went 15 bucks I wouldn't have had to part with if I'd been able to walk). Anyway, so I'm cruising up Lake Shore Drive in the back of the cab; the windows are down.... and it's one of those summer nights that seems soft and alive. I don't want to be chaperoned home--what I really want to do is bust out of the cab, walk around the lake, soak up the night air and the breeze off the water--but I can't. I'm trapped in this cab--gotta content myself with sticking my head out the window as the cabbie speeds me inevitably toward home. It's not safe for me to walk along the lake at this hour by myself--what, am I crazy!?!? I can't just go do that! ...Not unless, it occured to me--well, hmm, unless I had a guy along to protect me.
It was the magic key, wasn't it--as long as there was a male to stand guard, suddenly nothing was forbidden--I could do whatever I wanted, go where ever I pleased. It didn't matter who that guy was--just him being a male was enough. Suddenly, by virtue of him being there, the world was open to me. Strange, I mused: alone, I'm trapped; add one guy, and suddenly I'm free to do what I wish? Where's the part where I get to be by myself and do what I wish, the way guys do?
Sure, a girl is free to walk alone at night--it can be done--but there's no fun in it. You're always looking over your shoulder, clutching your purse, running worst-case scenarios in your head. You have to walk a certain way, hold your head a certain way, one that says, "I am in control." The look in your eyes must be defiant and calm. Your footsteps must be brisk and sure. Not too brisk, though, or you give yourself away.
And maybe this is partly why I like Buffy so much--it certainly isn't Sarah Michelle Gellar (although she does grow on you eventually)--no, I think it was more the fascination with the ability to go anywhere, do anything, for myself--just me, without fear.
But that only exists in the fantasy world. For the rest of my life I'll never know, as men do, what it is like to not be afraid, to not depend on others to protect me, to not have to hope and pray that no one tries to attack me, 'cause well--not much I could do about if they did, huh, poor little defenseless old me.
I hate it.
So now you know.
Comments? Have you ever been frightened walking by yourself, or worse, had someone attack or rob you?
Big Event of the Day (today!): Pick up Christie from the airport!! (Laura is already here)
Percent Chance: 97.82%
posted by Becky at
12:41 PM
6 Comments:
I agree that it is much easier/safer being a guy walking at night, but guys don't have a free pass though.
Today I biked from my apartment (Berwyn) to the West Loop to check on the construction status of my condo buidling. But do you think that I would do that at night? Are you crazy? There are some neighborhoods that you shouldn't stroll through alone at night, regardless if you are a guy or not.
Plus there are advatages of being female: not worrying about male pattern baldness? getting into clubs easier? To name a few.
By
Anonymous, at 8/13/2006 10:02:00 PM
Yeah, good point. Well, I feel a little better anyway.
We girls are well aware of the whole double standard for getting into clubs. Obviously, cool by us--but sucks for you guys. Sometimes when I'm with a bunch of girls and we see a line of guys waiting outside, we adopt them as our dates so they can get in. We do what we can...
By
Becky, at 8/14/2006 05:15:00 PM
That is such a cool thing to do. There is a club/lounge down the street from where I am moving called the Fulton Lounge that I heard is a great place. If I have any trouble getting in, I'm going have you get me in. Of course, drinks will be on me.
By
Anonymous, at 8/14/2006 10:21:00 PM
I guess I've noticed that I have my guard up when walking at night, and sometimes I start running the scenarios in my head ("if that guy over there grabs me, I'll hit him with this bag I'm carrying, and then run into that store over there...") but I guess I've never really considered it a result of being a girl. I guess that's true, but I've never felt like I was cheated out of some sense of security or something. I guess I've just never thought about it that way.
I really like to help guys get drinks at bars. All you have to do is lean waaaaay over the bar (wearing a low cut shirt, or course) and you get served like double quick. So me (or another girl) usually does the ordering at bars. I feel it's my good deed to mankind. I do what I can.
By
Anonymous, at 8/15/2006 09:25:00 PM
BECKY! Pleasing to write more.
By
Anonymous, at 8/18/2006 04:04:00 PM
Oops, the new post didn't load right away. Pleasing to forgive for the capital letters...
By
Anonymous, at 8/18/2006 04:05:00 PM
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