Handbasket

As I was getting off the el last night, I happened to catch part of someone's conversation right as they were saying, "The honeymoon is over." Now I'm not sure what exactly they were talking about, but I felt myself inwardly saying, "You've got that right."

You know this whole age of cell phones and e-mails and websites and myspace and all that? Well, the honeymoon's over.

No longer do we get to play for free.

Last night I got that call from a telemarketer, and apparently Garrett has gotten a call from them, too; this morning on my blog was a spam comment, something to the effect of, "Very nice! Hey, come check out a way to make some extra money!" and then a link. (I removed it so you can't see it now.)

I wanted to drop them some spam back and just say, "Hello!? Rude." So I went to their website. But in true shady fashion, no way to contact them without first providing my e-mail address and password. OOOOOOOH, squinty-eyes now. So then I spent an hour looking them up on Better Business Bureau, etc. to find out what their deal was. (Incidentally, I had to look up how to spell bureau. That has got to be the hardest word to spell in English. I was thinking it was bereuax.) In the end, I realized there wasn't a whole lot I could do, unfortunately, unless I draft a letter and mail it the old-fashioned way. I may or may not get up the energy to do that, but until I do, here's a warning: it's the Retail Report Card/Consumer Research Corporation, Inc. They do secret shoppers (where they pay you to go in and shop at a place/eat at a place and take notes on how your experience went) for lots of well-known businesses. I'm thinking these businesses aren't aware of their shady advertising practices.

But let's not talk about that now. I just went across the street for lunch and it is beeeeeeaaaauuuutiful outside. Aw man. I was afraid it wasn't going to be as warm as they said, but for once the weather forecasters were right--this morning I turned on the news and saw the little ticker tape across the bottom say partly cloudy, mid-60s. MID-60S!!!!!!!???? Oh baby. Warm for us has been 40 for the past month now. I broke out the fleece jacket and everything. I'm thinking I may even shave my legs. (Whoa, Becky--That's crazy talk. Besides, I still say it's going to snow at least one more time.)

I had an amusing thought this morning. Hold on, let me think of it.... Oh yeah. It was my way to deal with annoying telemarketers for when they call my cell phone.

You know how on TV, someone will call, and the other person will pick up, but instead of saying "Hello?" into the receiver, they say, "Yes, I would like to order a large pizza"? I love that. Anyway, I think I'm going to do something similar to the telemarketers. Such as, if they're calling to give me a poll, I'll interrupt them and say, "Oh, I'm so glad you called! I am conducting a poll about dairy consumption. Would you say you consume less than a half cup or milk per day, 1 cup per day, or 2 or more cups per day?" And I would continue to ask them questions until they gave up and went away. Or if they called to sell me something, I would tell them about how I have some old socks I'm willing to sell at a low low price of 4 dollars a pound, 3 dollars a pound for mismatched ones. HWAH hahahaha.... HWAAAAAH HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

I am drunk with power.

P.S. I just found this website where a waiter tells true stories daily about the crazy customers he deals with... it's like reality tv with a funny commentator. I'm putting it in my links.