Beckyland, Inc.

Easing boredom since 2005
Adventures, thoughts, and useless trivia
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Being a grown-up is fun after all.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Subtitles

Cheerful Anecdote

I had a great great waitress today. She needs to go on my all-time top 10 list of waitresses. Me--no decision-making whatsoever. This is the way eating should be done. I asked her what her favorite dishes were. Chicken Vesuvio, Cod, or Eggplant Parmesan. Eggplant Parmesan, done. Pasta, potatoes, or vegetables? Vegetables. Done. Rum cake, cheesecake, or chocolate cake? Rum cake. DONE. Beautiful. And instead of coffee she brought me steamed milk and a bucket of chocolate syrup so I could make my own chocolate milk. Oh baby.

Slightly Gross But Mostly (Hopefully) Engaging Discussion

This morning on the train, as we stopped to let more people on, I needed to blow my nose. So as people are filing onto my car, there I am, blowing my nose. And I think to myself, Hey, good deal--no one will want to sit with me if I'm blowing my nose, and then I'll have the seat to myself. It worked--when the dust settled, there were vast oceans of empty seat beside me! So I'm wondering if people do this as a general practice--use clever ruses (I like the word ruse) to make sure no one sits with them on the train. Now, you can't be just rude and leave your stuff all over the seat--I consider that cheating. The seat-savvy commuter appears as if he doesn't mind anyone sitting with him, but then, just as luck would have it, no one does. Acting sick, obviously, is one way to go. But a hacking cough is grosser and I feel an unnecessary level of contamination to accomplish this goal. Same with body odor--everyone suffers there. What about bad acne? Maybe if you made weird faces and noises just as people were walking in. Or looked them each in the eye and mumbled something vaguely crazy-like. I think that might work. Hmm. Decisions, decisions.

Trivia and Frivolous Chattering

Here is some trivia for you from Scientific American.

Q. How much space junk is thought to be currently orbiting the earth?

A. At least 110, 000 objects one centimeter or larger in size that have broken off from space missions are thought to be orbiting the earth.

Do you think eventually Earth will have rings around it like Saturn, just from our crap? Will space shuttles have to arm themselves with extra protection so they don't get cut up by the space junk? Or are they already outfitted for worse, such as asteroids and all the other natural stuff that's out there? Say you wanted to launch your old toaster out into space so aliens would bump into it and wonder at it. How fast would you have to shoot it? It would probably have to be self-propelled, like by rockets. Hmm, a rocket-powered toaster. I think it'd be neat.

Discuss.

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